Break Me
by Moonlit-Precipice
Summary: "Because I break them…" Naruto could remember hearing the words push themselves out of Sasuke 's mouth like thick smoke. "I break everything I touch… except for you." "Do you want to break me?"  "I don't know." Rated for lemon and violence.


Nothing was sacred any more. Nothing held the same glow and wonder that it used to, everything dulled. Deep within the recesses of his mind was a burn slowly spreading, engulfing everything he once held precious until he was consumed by an obsession. "Teme." The shadow behind him did not move. The clock ticked angrily on the wall as the second were painfully being stretched. The shadow slowly began to move forward, each step grazing the hard wood floor silently until his own feet were parallel to the blonde's. "Why do you keep doing this?" It was a monotone barely audible whisper. "Why don't you just choose? Stay or go, dammit." Both of their eyes remained facing forward, bathed in moonlight dancing through the window. "Just stay for once." The Uchiha sighed. "You know I can't do that." More seconds were squeezed for all they were worth, uncomfortably making the room tight with silence. "I know." He turned his head until his ebony eyes met with ones of deep blue. A pale hand slowly reached up and traced the scarred cheek, causing Naruto to flinch a little, before Sasuke vanished into the night, not leaving any evidence except slightly fluttering curtains.

#

Naruto gazed out the window moonlight flooding his ice blue eyes. "Dammit. That bastard…" He didn't notice he was biting his lip until he heard the small droplet hit the ground, leaving a mark of it's own. He picked up his fist and slammed it into the side of the window, sending splinters of wood flying across the room, some grazing his face. _Plish plish plish… _As more drops hit the floor. He threw himself into his bed and clutched the sheets tightly in his hand. Life was too complicated. He had once been so simple minded, even his boyish innocence had been grated away by that damned Uchiha and his stupid need to make everything a fucking complex disaster. He couldn't even make up his damned mind.

#

These 'meetings' were never any different. It didn't matter where Naruto happened to be, on a mission or in the village. His damn spine would start tingling like nobody's business, and then that shadow would appear. Sasuke didn't even bother masking his chakra anymore, but that damned shadow was always the giveaway. Sometimes nothing was said. They would stand there, sometimes facing each other, sometimes back to back. They both needed it, but neither knew why. Neither of them could truly have what they wanted, but they both needed the other there. Sometimes Sasuke would just stand there and watch as Naruto would break down. Start yelling, hitting things. Wrecking whatever hellhole they happened to be in that time. Then Sasuke would make some remark about things never changing. Because they never did.

#

"Stop." The alleyways of Konoha lay on the outskirts of the city, generally unpopulated and a fairly safe place for an emotional cesspool to fester and bubble. Sasuke took another step forward, backing Naruto into the brick wall of some old forsaken building. It was rare on these occasions that Sasuke would say more than a sentence or two, and even more so that a hand would flutter over his skin, a touch brush through his hair. But he kept walking closer. The cobblestone crumbled as his shoes dragged over it, throwing pebbles and dust into the crevasses in the road. He didn't recognize that look in Naruto's eyes. He was stern, but seemed to lack the general overflow of emotion that damned jinchuriki always seemed to have. "I said stop it." There was no hint of fear in his voice, nor anger. It just sounded insistent. The blonde's eyes fluttered closed as the Uchiha became a breaths distance away. Their bodies became pressed together, the raven's neck on the fox's shoulder. His head tilted ever so slightly to become audible to the still-as-death shinobi. "Naruto" A hand curled around his waist. "No…"

"Tell me Naruto, how much have you missed me?" Another hand joined around his waist. The blonde's muscles became rigid. "Sasuke…"

"How many days have you spent longing for me to come back?" Naruto's head turned away slightly, a grim expression overtaking his feature. "I said _stop_." "How many nights…" Eyes squeezed shut. "Watch it…"

"… Have you spent dreaming…" two hands slipped up to the Ravens stomach and shoved him off stumbling slightly into the street before regaining his balance; Naruto was already walking away. The Uchiha did not smirk before disappearing into the dusk.

#

The villagers did not mention this change in the normally bubbly blondes behavior. Nor did they notice when he stopped socializing all together. He didn't give a damn. Fuck them. He didn't need them.

The training grounds held several encounters for the two ninja. Naruto rested his bare back against a tree, panting. Countless hours of training never seemed to do more than take the edge off of the stress he felt day in and day out. "You're still an idiot." Naruto winced, but didn't respond. The black haired ninja sat next to him. "This isn't going to change anything."

"Why do you keep doing this?" Naruto asked, still gazing out into the training grounds. It took him a moment to realize he was now on his back, Sasuke pinning his arms to the dirt. "Why do I keep doing what? Why do I keep coming here to see you? Why do I keep damning myself by coming back every time when I promise myself this trip will be the last? You're so fucking selfish!" Naruto retained his complexion, though he had never seen the cool stoic bastard blow up like this.

It was several weeks before Sasuke came back again. Naruto began realizing how much he missed, how much he _needed _these damned confluences. They were tense and filled with anger and regret, nothing was ever resolved during them but dammit, that bastard was like oxygen to him. A drug that just barley takes the edge off, letting you fall even deeper into its spiraling addiction.

#

He was slammed against the wall on first contact, no looming in the shadows, no silence before the storm. He was taken off guard but regained his composure. "Do you hate me?" The Uchiha said without any inflection in his voice. The question took Naruto off guard. The Uchiha never sounded… _remorseful. _If even a little. "No." He winced a little as he was thrown to the ground. "You should." A foot came down and pressed against his chest. Naruto made no move to push him off. "You make no sense. You're like a damned lapdog who doesn't care if his master beats him." The foot pressed harder against his chest. Naruto didn't say anything. There was nothing _to _say. There never was, they just always said it anyways. He raised a hand to grip Sasuke's ankle, and looked him in the eye. After a moment he eased up letting Naruto get slowly to his feet. He turned and began to walk. "Don't you dare walk away." He said stoically. But Naruto shrugged him off and continued to walk. "I _said-_" Naruto was shoved up against the wall again as a pair of hungry dry lips found his. His heart plummeted to the bottom of his stomach as the Uchiha's tongue began to circle his lips. "Ahhn-" Naruto shoved Sasuke away and began to leave faster, but was only pushed into the wall again, this time with Sasuke behind him holding one arm behind his back. "The _hell _Sasuke-" Naruto began before a pair of lips seized his again. "Cut it OUT!" He began to squirm as a thin hand began cupping his chin, tracing his features. All Sasuke heard was a crack before he was sent flying backwards. The Dobe had hit him. Hadn't done that in a while. This time it was Naruto who disappeared.

#

Soon there wasn't a single visit where Sasuke didn't kiss him. Or at least try to. Some days he would be harsh and forceful, crashing his lips against the other Shinobi's, teeth clashing together. Others, it was a soft subtle seduction. Hands still firmly holding him in place, but lips smoothly running over his own, Sucking gently, licking, caressing.

And he didn't understand.

He didn't understand any of Sasuke's actions, or why he did these things, or why he had to make thing so _damn complicated. _He didn't understand why it tore at his heartstrings every time he visited him, and why it hurt even more when he had to leave. But most of all he didn't understand why he kept pushing away.

#

The night was dark. The moon had been blocked out by heavy clouds that drifted sluggishly through the sky. He was there. Of course he was there, he was always there. And Naruto knew he was there even as he lay on his stomach on that warm comforting bed. He knew as Sasuke approached him slowly, and he knew Naruto knew he was there. When he reached the side of the bed, he stopped. And instead of attacking him like Naruto expected, he sat down and began stroking his face. Pale finger skid across tan skin and idles listlessly through the dandelion locks. And Naruto was tempted to stay there like that, the Uchiha's warm rough hand on his smooth skin. An affectionate action that was rare for him to experience. But he couldn't do that. They could never leave well enough alone.

"What do you want?" The question ripened in the air as he waited for an answer. There was always so much waiting in these little games. Sometimes, an answer never came, yet they waited all the same. A finger rose up and began stroking down Naruto's back, causing him to shiver lightly, but not unnoticeably. "I want an answer" he began, words chilling the air. "I want an answer to why I can't close my eyes without you being there." He walked his finger slowly up the blondes back, making him jerk slightly. "Why I stay up all damn night with you on my mind." He let the words steep in the stifling atmosphere as his hand danced forward again to play in the blondes hair "Why I keep coming back." Naruto rolled over to look Sasuke in the eye, obsidian met with cerulean. Sasuke climbed on top of the blonde slowly, until he was straddling the boy between his thighs, but Naruto made no move to push him off. A hand reached back up and his thumbs slowly brushed across Naruto's cheeks. He leaned down a breaths distance away. "I want to know why you never kiss back" He pressed his lips softly to the other boys and moved them gently up and down. It was a soft caring act, but Naruto made no move to retaliate. It made his heart flutter more than he'd like to admit, but he would be damned if he was caught kissing that pompous Uchiha back after all he did to him. It was all his damned fault anyways, life would just have been easier…

Sasuke slowly pulled back breaking the kiss only to find himself face to face with a cold stare. Naruto looked away shame filling him for some reason he could not place as Sasuke bent down and pressed his warm lips to Naruto's collarbone. He began moving his lips, sucking and nipping softly at the tan skin. Pinpricks of pleasure skidded straight to his chest, squeezing his heart painfully. _No dammit.. _He wanted him to stop. He DIDN'T want him to stop. He was driving the blonde shinobi insane with these fucked up mind games. He shifted his hips to try and throw Sasuke off, only resulting in a shallow groan from the raven-haired ninja. "Get off of me you bastard. Get the hell out of my room." Sasuke slithered a lithe hand down the boy's slim chest. "You don't really want that, do you?" he said, beginning to knead his arousal, eliciting a frustrated groan from Naruto. "F-fuck.. ngh…" The hand began massaging his thigh, beckoning the blood to flow southward to the boy's slightly hardening member, and began kissing down his neck. "I can feel you want me. Can you feel me… Naruto?" He said, grabbing one of the boy's hands and brining it down to press up against his stiff arousal. Naruto gasped, and flustered, tried to pull his hand back unsuccessfully. "Feel how much I want you?" He whispered huskily into the other mans throat. _It can't be…_

His eyes grew wide as he jerked his hand back. His heart was beating rapidly, he could still feel the pulse of Sasuke beneath his fingertips. _This isn't happening… _He thought. _This is too much… He's gone too far… _"S-Sasuke, I-"

"Shut up." The raven cut him off. He pressed one hand down firmly on Nauto's chest and he cascaded his fingertips down the taut tan stomach, going back up to kiss his neck again. "N-no…" He managed to spit out. His breathing grew more labored as a calloused hand found their way in his boxers and started massaging his length. "Hahh-!" Hungry lips licked and probed at his pulse point as he became fully hard. _Shit! _Sasuke smirked against his skin as he began to pump the blonde faster. He finally has his hand around that organ that he longed for so much. Finally had his lips around that neck, his fingers stroking that skin. And for each meager push Naruto's shaking hands gave, his skin responded to him, his hips arching into his touch. And the best part, was in between heavy pants and pleas to stop, he would hear sweet throaty moans and gaps, cries of pleasure as fingertips gripped at his shoulders silently begging him to continue. Sasuke shivered at the sweet sounds and the hotness of the whole situation as his hand became slippery. One hand came down to play with a nipple as Naruto groaned out loudly. Two blue eyes came up and met his. They were glossy, almost tearful as Naruto whispered "you jerk…" and came in Sasuke's hand. He released a cry and slumped back down onto the bed.

Why? Why did he… He rolled over bringing the covers with him as he felt a hand rest on his arm. "Get out." And just like that, Sasuke was gone, before he could see the tears that were silently sliding down Naruto's cheeks.

#

"Because I break them…" Naruto could remember hearing the words push themselves out of Sasuke 's mouth like thick smoke. "I break everything I touch… except for you." The sun was a deep set red, folding and billowing over itself in silken blankets each one darker than the last, gently blowing wave after of color over his angular face. His mouth was set in a thin frown. His eyes seemed to burn, black and hot like coal; Naruto had to look away for a second. "Do you want to break me?" The static in the air was tense and settled in the pit of his gut, wriggling. Sasuke's hair swept across his face as he turned away. It was as if their eyes met it would spark a fire that would burn this world to ashes. "I don't know."

#

"Fuck you." Naruto spat. The Uchiha didn't stir, his eyes icy cold. "You're just trying to fuck me over. Is this your way of trying to prove you're better than me? Huh? Fuck you!" Tears began to well up in Naruto's eyes but he brushed them away. Sasuke slowly stepped forward until he was close enough to kiss him. He suddenly felt a hard sting fly across his face. Naruto had slapped him. Sasuke reached an arm forward and grabbed the blonde's arm, eyes boring holes into his skull. "Let go! Get out of here you bastard!" Sasuke's frown bent in a snarl as he pushed Naruto up against the wall, the ferocity between them electrifying the air. "Don't you think for a second that you could go on living your pathetic life here in Konoha after all this. You need me."

"You're wrong!" Naruto growled, hand gripping the back of the Uchiha's hair harshly. "You're the one who needs me!" And without another moment, Their lips came crashing together like a hailstorm. It was mean. Bitter. Their tongues and lips fought. Spit and tears mingled on their faces as they pushed and pulled at each other violently. They're breathing grew heavy as they struggled, Naruto eventually pinning Sasuke to the ground. He gripped Sasuke's jaw forcing his mouth open as he plunged his tongue deep within the others mouth, ravaging it. Stripping it. Dominating him. Sasuke's grip on his arms were tight as he pulled him further down to grind their hips together. Naruto responded by pulling his head up and wrapping his hands around the raven's throat. He stifled the Uchiha's movements with another hand on his hips as his eyes scoured at the boys face. "You're lost, Sasuke. I don't know who you are anymore. You don't know who you are. You've let the edge pull you down and wrap you in hate and darkness. And now that you realize how alone you really are, you're trying to pull me down with you." Sasuke's eyes widened slightly. Naruto wiped his mouth and got up, leaving Sasuke alone on the ground. An ache in his thighs and a pressure in his chest.

#

It was rushed, the harsh wind beat down on his face like Sasuke's kisses were skimming up his thigh. He hadn't noticed when his grunts of hesitance tuned into impatient moans. He wanted to feel that velvety warmth that had caressed his lips so many times engulf him in a whole new way. He shuddered violently as a hand harshly clutched onto the back of his thigh and he was thrust forward, Sasuke's long warm tongue beckoning him into bliss. Naruto's broad hands went to push him away, but possessed by lust they coiled in his thick black tresses and willed him onward. His breath was labored and hitching in time to the sickening squelch encasing him and drawing him to ecstasy. As beads of sweat rolled down his tan chest he thought he could almost feel the bastard smirk. But he didn't care. Not as long as those powerful lips were around him. Those lips that always coerced him to stay a little longer, kiss a little closer, fuck a little harder. Each time he thrust up into that mouth, he imagined blows for each time Sasuke had broken a promise. The ever-tightening grip on his hair was punishment for each time Sasuke squeezed his heart and screwed him over. His anger and desire fought in his belly until they were meld into one burning hot liquid that ran through him, head to toe. He didn't even notice he was crying. There was no more discerning between love and hate, for at the root of them were both passion, a passion that was fierce and rising within him. An intensity that no one else could make him feel. "Sasuke…" His voice was hoarse and strained as he pushed himself to go on just a little more. Make him go on a little longer. Each second had to last him until they met again. With a harsh jerk Naruto came in waves. They broke crashing through his veins and spilling out of him along with all of his hate and his lust. Naruto had flowed over like an ocean that couldn't be contained within a shell.

And Sasuke was left with the wake.

#

Neither ever gave an inch to each other. They fought each other on the outside but both were burning up from within. _Why am I doing this? Why do I let him do these things to me? Why do I let him make me feel this way? _They didn't know. Nothing was ever simple.

"Hit me." Naruto was taken aback. Sasuke raised a fist and slammed it into Naruto's gut as he fell to the ground. "Well? What's wrong? After all, I'm the one who screwed up your life right? I'm the one making things complicated. I'm the one who can't make up his mind. What's the matter?" He lifted a foot and swiftly kicked Naruto in his side, causing him to yelp and clutch his gut. "Go ahead! Fight back! Hit me!" He knew what he was doing. He didn't know what he was doing. Naruto leapt on top of him and swung a punch hard into the side of his face. He felt himself slowly begin to fall towards the ground, the blonde above him. Adding to the weight. Pushing him down. _Oh yeah. I deserve this._ He knew as the world blurred around him, it was only ever Naruto. It could only ever be Naruto. The person he had cared for like no other was the person he had hurt the most. Who he was still hurting. He just wanted Naruto to break his jaw and wring his neck and silently pummel him into his eternal sleep. That would be nice. _If anyone were to kill me, Naruto, I would want it to be you._

He finally hit the ground after what seemed like minutes, Naruto's bloody scowl aimed at him _That's right, hate me. _"You bastard!" His fist rammed hard into Sasuke's gut, making him cough up blood. But his eyes… something was wrong. Naruto's eyes seemed sad, gentle. There was a storm in them alright, but that wasn't hate there. "I hate you!"_ You're lying. Why are you lying?_ They were soft. It was as if Naruto knew Sasuke needed to feel despised. He needed to feel punished. "You deserve so much more. You really deserve to die." _I know I do. I want to die. But why are you lying to me?_ A tear fell from Naruto's cheek like the last bit of him giving in. "I should be the one to kill you." _Yes, I know._ "But…" Naruto slowly pulled Sasuke up into a seated position and gripped his shoulders tightly. "I wont let you win. I wont lose you." He pulled Sasuke tightly into his grasp and buried his face deep in the crook of his neck. Sasuke's chest ached as it was pushed against Naruto's firm body. Every muscle he had was bound so tightly by the darkness he felt. He was repulsive. Dirty. His whole persona had been sullied and washed away by years of hate, years of being stoical, his endless impassive pain. He was so incredibly hideous. But this idiot approached him without fear, no sign on his face that he saw Sasuke for an ugly pathetic creature. _Why do you have to be so blind? How could someone like you ever care for someone like me? Get out while you still can. _He knew he never would though. And for that Sasuke couldn't have asked for anything else. His chest began to heave as he clawed at Naruto's back pulling his wettening face sticking to the blonde's hair. Naruto was always his true home.

#

_One day, when you need me the most, I'm not going to be there. When you fall I wont be able to catch you. And that's when you're going to wish you had tried to save yourself a long time ago._

_#_

Neither of them were quite aware when it had happened. It came upon them soft as summer rains. Each step they took away from the other pulled their hearts closer together, and now they couldn't separate the meaning of rivals and lovers. It was like falling through thick dark water. _Why are you sinking?_

I am the raven. I was meant to fly, not swim.

_Then let me help you to the surface. _

I don't want to go back out there. There's only pain.

_You'll drown. You can't fly down here. _

Then let me drown with you.

He had grown accustom to these deep dark waters. It was warm under the surface. Quiet. Away from all the harsh realities that bared their fangs at him. Just warm and calm, expanding for miles in every direction. And this one person to share it with. But you can't laugh underwater. You can't jump into each other's arms, whisper in each other's ears. It was a reality that held no meaning, but he was too scared to let that go. These waters were so familiar to him now. They shared the silence together. Suspended in fear of the surface.

_Raven, spread your wings and break the waters edge. Fly as far away from here as you can._

It's too late.

#

The village was black that night. Blacker than it had seemed in a while. He wasn't sure if the stars had flickered out or were just being smothered by clouds. He couldn't seem to clear his head, even as his footsteps executed a monotonous rhythm against the sandy street. He shoved his hands in his pockets and let out a deep sigh. The cold thick air filled his chest and it felt good to let it out. _Where is Sasuke right now?_ He wondered. He tried to imagine where the dark haired shinobi spent his time when he wasn't there with him. He knew better not to stay too close to the outskirts of the village, but he couldn't be too far off. Maybe he roamed different places from day to day, setting up camp during nightfall in a new area. Perhaps he had a common abode, a cave of some sort he returned to each day. Sasuke had changed over the years in subtle, but very noticeable ways. His eyes, sharper and colder. His face still soft, but broader and more masculine. He was gorgeous, really. Naruto could understand why all the girls in Konoha drooled over him. But recently Naruto had been thinking about Sasuke in ways he hadn't before. When he was younger he saw the body of a boy who worked hard and put effort; into his training, but now he was drawn to the other. He found himself lustfully imagining his chiseled figure and milky skin, gilding over the soft vesture with his minds eye. He wondered what that skin would feel like, hot and sweaty pressed wantonly against his own. He wondered how much Sasuke thought about him. Was he thinking about Naruto right at this moment? Two star-crossed lovers, staring off into the cold black night thinking off each other in harmony; wouldn't that be nice. He lifted his shoe and kicked an offending pebble out of his path as he trudged on meaninglessly through the abandoned streets. Everything had been shut down, all the store owners had gone to bed hours ago. Sasuke was probably sleeping too. It was foolish thinking to imagine he was there with the same damn ache in his chest Naruto had. He really was a Dobe. But it didn't stop him from looking up into the starless night imagining Sasuke could feel his gaze, and know he was thinking of him too.

#

It was black that night, so black. He hadn't remembered the last time the sky seemed so ominous. Yet from the mouth of his desolate cave he had the nerve to call his residence he still felt a light. Somewhere out there in the darkness miles away, he thought maybe Naruto was out there thinking about him. He lay on his tatami mat letting the cool air lick his chest and send a shiver through his body. He was engulfed in a black flame. Blacker than this starless night. It was his own mind, he had lost control of it and it was now consumed in the fire that was Naruto. It was all encompassing but the burn felt so sweet. He tossed and turned on his humble sleeping arrangement trying to stifle the flames and shake the thought of the blonde from his head, but it was almost as if Naruto was staring into the sky right now, praying that Sasuke would know he was thinking of him too. He clutched his hair in frustration. _Damn damn damn! _He hated this idiotic infatuation. What had drawn him to that blue-eyed Dobe in the first place? When they were children there were no redeeming qualities in Naruto a young Sasuke could see. He was nothing more than a talentless, callow boy with no finesse, no modesty, no brains. Why and when had he fallen so hard? It wasn't until he was six feet under until he realized he had slipped in the first place. But there was an undeniable link betwixt them now. And Sasuke couldn't get the image of the tanned face out of his head. He had such a broad, stupid smile. His eyes would squint shut and he would make unattainable promises without hesitation. His small childlike fists had grown into broad strong calloused hands and his whole upper body had become much more defined. His goldenrod tresses still danced around his face as wildly and unkempt as when he had been a little prankster in the academy. So much about him had changed. His round cheeks bearing ridiculous faces had thinned out and broadened into a strong jaw that bore a much more mature and solemn look. His lips were smooth and thin like little lies. His arms had become strong and toned due to years of hard work… yes he had grown all right. Everything about him had molded itself into perfection. Everything from his fierce eyes, to his taught stomach, down to his… _Damn._ Sasuke bit his lip harshly and shut his eyes as he felt that familiar steady throb in his chest and between his thighs. He let out a grunt of frustration as he dug his nails into the hard ground below him tangled in his own conflicts. He hated loosing control of his body to another. No, not just his body. The only way to satiate himself was to surrender to that firm grip and loose control. He hated loosing. He opened his eyes and drove a hand harshly below the covers. It was going to be another restless night.

#

"I've been thinking about you." Naruto began, eyes staring straightly at the black haired boy. It was more straightforward than Sasuke had anticipated, and not knowing quite how to respond, rebuked, "Hn, don't say such things, usuratonkachi. You make it sound like you're some love struck girl." It was embarrassing; he had been acting more like a love struck girl than Naruto had, though he'd never admit it. He couldn't get his mind off the jinchuriki. Naruto knew Sasuke's defenses well, and pulled together a knowing smile. "Yeah, it's pretty dumb. But, it's true. I think about you a lot. I always have." Sasuke's stiffened shoulders slowly relaxed as his shirt gently rippled against him in the breeze. The sun was going down. Sasuke used to love watching the sun set over Konoha, it was magnanimous. The Hokage Mountain range would catch the orange rays and seem to almost glitter in the warm afternoon light. But he no longer embraced that beauty. All he saw was the red. Red, everywhere. Like the sun bleeding out it's last dying rays in hope that someone would see the impression it left painted on the world. For some reason, Naruto being there made him feel calm. He was redder than ever, hot with rage and passion, but it was fulfilling. It was a part of who he was. Naruto was a part of who he was. He was the wind that strengthened his fire. He didn't notice that Naruto had approached and was now standing adjacent to him. "You don't have to leave. Not now, just… stay. At least till morning."

So they just stood there, watching as the sky melted away into purple and indigo, eventually revealing a star rollicked sheet of blackness. The concrete of the roof was cold beneath their seats as they sat side-by-side just staring at the sky. Enjoying the words unsaid. They understood each other's silence, probably more than their spoken conversations. Maybe it was better that way.

"I don't understand you," Sasuke finally said, breaking their fast of words. "You're the only one I loose my cool around. And I don't understand any of this. I don't know what this means. And I hate that I can't see where I'm going." Naruto looked at him knowingly, his short fingernails chipping away at some crumbling cement on the edge of the building. "You're my blind spot. I keep trying to counter you, but… you always manage to get me" he muttered, a gloved hand reaching up to clutch his chest. Naruto nodded in understanding and gazed up at the stars, falling onto his back. Sasuke's eyes wandered to him, stretched out like a kid on a grassy field. "Ne, Sasuke, look at this" he said, pointer finger extending upwards following a line of motion up through his outstretched arm. Sasuke tentatively lay down next to him and saw sky with unladed eyes.

"You see that star right there?" he asked, finger gesturing towards the blanket of night. Sasuke winced at his childlike behaviors. "Oi, you can't just point, there are millions of stars, it could be any of them. I can't see where your gesture is going." Naruto smiled and looked at the other boy. "Neither can I. Sasuke, we're all just shooting through space, trying to find our own paths. There are millions of places and millions of people on this world. We're all headed somewhere. I don't know which one it'll be, but I know that when I get there, I want to be on the same star as you." Sasuke's breath hitched in his throat. A small touch made him jump as nimble fingers wove between his own. "This is a promise, Sasuke. We're going to get to that star, and we're going to make it together."

The promise was a bond. A bond that held no proof, no backing behind it's assurance, and could easily be crushed by the cruel fates that idled in this world. But it was a promise that soothed Sasuke's heart non-the-less. Because he knew Naruto Uzumaki. And he would fulfill his promise, or die trying.

#

The city was empty.

Or so it seemed, nowadays. Each figure seemed to glide right through him as he feet dragged the blonde through the same streets they always had. It was a ghost town. He had become blind to those around him. The villagers leading their peaceful lives seemed so Lilliputian next to his own turmoil. Where was everyone? The town seemed so empty. Truth be told it was no more empty than before. Through Naruto's eyes though, that was a different story. People started to slowly fade with the lack of significance they held in his life until almost everyone was like a walking ghost, and all that mattered was Sasuke. He was consumed and he knew it, but the fire felt too good to put it out. He was coiled in darkness and loved feeling those tendrils trying to suck him in. Call it a masochistic act, he was psychologically feeding Sasuke off of his own sanity. But he didn't mind. Let him go that way if so be it. He would feed this fire till he was nothing left but ashes.

He looked up at the sky. That same sky he and Sasuke were under the other night. Looking at the same stars, breathing the same air. A few fledglings teetered through the sky on unsteady wings, landing clumsily on a roof. They ruffled their feathers dry until they fluffed out like tufts of brown milkweed. The two of them on the left sang at each other with shrill voices and plucked at each other's down, fighting about whatever birds have to fight about. The third bird chirped at them nervously and backed away, until they separated, turning their backs to one another. Naruto couldn't help but smile. What little things held joy for him in this inverse world where up was down and hate turned to love. But he couldn't fight gravity much longer.

#

"Sasuke…" The Dark haired ninja looked at him solemnly as Naruto stood in the corner of that barren room. "It's ok." He began stepping forward. Each time his foot hit the rickety wooden floor it sent ripples of anxiety up his spine. "What" the raven asked. Though inside he knew what Naruto was feeling. That red string wrapping tightly around his throat pulling them together whether they fought it or not. "I want you to break me." Sasuke flicked his head away in shame. "No you don't. You want to save me. There's a difference between me going back with you and you coming down with me." Naruto smiled sadly as he came closer. "Maybe there isn't." Closer. "Maybe you need to break me first. And once I'm down with you we can fight back together." He was only a breaths distance away now. "I can see it. I'm not blind, Sasuke. There's a part of you that wants to fight this. That wants nothing more than to turn me to dust. A part of you that hates me, that hates what I do to you." A chill crawled up Sasuke's spine as his words rung verily in his ear. "I can take it." His lips rose up until he was practically talking against Sasuke's own. "So break me."

Naruto was on the ground in a second, after a fist collided harshly with his jaw. He coughed a speckling of blood on the ground as Sasuke flipped him onto his stomach. "Fuck you! You don't fucking know me! How could you possibly know what I've been through?" Vehement hands tore off the blonde's shirt and pushed his head into the floor. "It's ok."

"No Naruto, it's not ok. Nothing is going to be ok! Nothing is ever ok, but you're the only one who ever sweet talked me into actually believing it." His hands roughly gripped Naruto's hips as he bent over the boy, huskily spitting into his ear, "I knew I was doomed but you gave me false hope, and I came crashing to the ground harder than ever." A tear threatened to break from Naruto's clenched eyes, but he held it back. "You're not hopeless." Sasuke jammed his body against the blonde's in rage. "Shut up!" He yanked Naruto's pants and undergarments down swiftly, the fabric pooling at his knees. Naruto could feel adrenaline coursing through his veins. He could feel his heart skip a beat as he heard that telltale sound of a zipper, and managed a glance back seeing Sasuke's clothes join his own on the filthy floor. He could hear Sasuke's labored breaths weighing heavily on his ears. "Get this through your thick skull. I'm beyond saving. And so are you." And with that, Naruto could feel a warm blunt force pushing against his entrance. With no time to brace himself he choked on his own cry and winced as he felt the dry thick head push through his unprepared orifice. Sasuke's brutal appendage pushed slowly and agonizingly through him as his presence had done so many times, forcing Naruto to feel his pain. Sasuke grunted overhead as he slid in, and Naruto could feel a warm liquid dripping between his legs. _Blood. _

"Do you feel me, Naruto?" he asked, retracting and slamming in again causing Naruto to grit his teeth to hold back his pained moans. His face was pressed against the grainy floor, tears and spit pooling around him as he was taken repeatedly, his throbbing entrance turning slick with blood. Sasuke didn't spare him any grief. Their hips smacked together recurrently, which he knew would turn to brackish bruises come morning. He squeezed his eyes tighter as his lower half screamed in protest. His knees, pressed mercilessly to the hard wood ached and he heaved with each heavy thrust. It was like being choked from the inside, a hot hand reaching through him and fisting his throat.

Sasuke face was contorted much as his heart was, being consumed by so much hot, physical pleasure but feeling such rage. It was an icy burn, the kind that leaves a scar. As he rocked staggeringly into the submissive boy beneath him his gut twisted with and intense crippling pleasure and his chest was wracked with a deep hurt. _I'm hurting him again. I always end up hurting him. _And that's the way it always was. But Naruto didn't cry out, or try to stop him. Even though Sasuke was brutally violating him he just lay there and took it. And that just made Sasuke angrier. Why didn't he fight back? Why is he just accepting it? _Scream, dammit! Fight back, kick, bite, do something! _His compliancy was so agitating! Did this idiot really think he could fix Sasuke's shattered life by letting him in like this? His fingernails dug into Naruto's back as he started bucking his hips even harder, trying to evict a reaction out of the blonde. Naruto bit his lip to stifle the whimpers that teetered on the edge of his tongue as he was slammed into. Sasuke's thrusts became erratic as he felt his release imminent. His legs buckled and thighs jerked, his chest tightened and his vision became blurry as he threw himself into a fiery completion. He shivered, spilling everything he had to give into Naruto's hot and ruddied entrance. Naruto felt like lava was brewing in his stomach and leaking out his mouth as he felt Sasuke's release flood into him. As he felt the now relaxed body slump over him he collapsed to the ground, immersed in filth and fluids. After a moment that seemed to stretch itself out as far as possible, Sasuke pushed himself off of his blonde lover and buried his head in his hands. Though he had a painful throb in his backside Naruto managed to push himself up as well and put his hand on the ravens shoulder, causing him to wince. "It's ok, Sasuke." It wasn't ok. And it wasn't going to be ok. He knew that as the tears were sliding down his dirty cheeks, plummeting to the floor in a quiet _splish splish splish. _

_Damn! Naruto should be the one in tears, not me! He should be sobbing, curled in a ball begging for me not to touch him. Why is he comforting me? Why is he holding me and telling me that it's 'ok'? Can't he see how flawed I am? Get away! _

They didn't have a 'relationship'. What they had was a fractured bond. Something that had become so filthy and sullied they didn't know what to make of it. It began with a simple search and rescue mission and turned into one fucking the other senseless. Whatever they had it wasn't normal, and it wasn't good. It wasn't 'ok'. But Naruto didn't see something that was broken; he saw something with the potential to be fixed. His blind optimism and selflessness were what irked the Uchiha the most. For one that had always been soaked in hatred and stained with the effervescent blackness of the harsh realities that encumbered his fortunes, he was taken aback by someone that saw the light in everything. Well there was no light in him anymore. His heart no longer glowed with the goal of becoming the most powerful in his clan and surpassing his brother. He had no future, no aspirations. The only glimmer in his placid cesspool of a soul was this pure hopeless idiotic boy, the only person he could call a friend. But being a perfectionist, no blip in the data would be tolerated and so he huffed and he puffed and he tried to smother that light until it became tarnished and melted in with it's surroundings. What a fool he had been. It was only then, when he had given in and emptied everything into Naruto's compliant grasp that he realized how lost he really was.

#

Sasuke didn't come back to the village that week. Or the next one. Naruto waited patiently but knew it would take a while before he would be ready to face Naruto again. The first thing he did after Sasuke had disappeared out through the window was take a long hot shower. He limped into the bathroom grasping at anything he could hold onto to support himself. He started wiping down while he waited for the water to warm up. The next two days were mostly bedridden. He slurped ramen and slept, waiting for his ache to dull. He played out the days until Sasuke's immanent return slowly. He excused himself from missions for 'personal reasons' or so he told Granny Tsunade. The sadness in his eyes spoke softly to her and, understandingly, she gave him a week off. He sat by the waterfront a lot. Just sitting on the docks looking out into the placid water. Counting the fish and the birds. Once he regained full use of his legs he took walks in the forest, sometimes leaving at noon and not coming back until it was almost dawn the next morning. And he did something he hadn't done in a while. He thought. And he didn't just think, he spent weeks living inside his mind. Trying to figure things out. Thinking about Sasuke. About how he was, what he was doing… how he felt after what had happened. Naruto had meant for it to happen of course. He needed Sasuke to know his devotion. He needed him to feel what it was like to break what he cared most about. He was used to making sacrifices for Sasuke, but this one blew the others out of the water. And he didn't mind, really. It hurt. Sasuke was rough and mean. But there was a part of him that felt closer to the Uchiha than he had ever felt before. He shared his pain. They were connected through their bodies. There was no facade of seduction and romance, just raw bitter emotion. It made his legs weak even to think about it. He wondered what it would be like when those emotions grew and changed and blossomed into a love that wasn't clouded in hate. He wondered how it would be for him and Sasuke to make love honestly, with nothing to fear. He thought about it a lot. He thought about it on those long walks in the woods, and he thought about it even more when he was home in his bed. Those weeks were so lonely without Sasuke. He didn't feel a peace at the loss like he thought he would sometimes, just emptiness. It was over a month before he returned.

#

It had taken time for Sasuke to comprehend what was happening to him, what was changing inside. What had that usuratonkachi done to him? It was as if the anger in him had been smothered by a cold wind that whispered him into submission. He was so used to spending his days with a scowl on his face feeling angry, that he didn't know what to do after the first time he cried. He cried in Naruto's arms for hours. Why had he done that? After his tears had dried and he realized he was being coddled he fled the scene, disgusted with himself. But it was too late. The dam had been busted, and now he cried almost every day. When he watched the sun go down and he thought of how Itachi used to hold him, he cried. He remembered how he and Naruto watched the sunset and look at the stars that night, and he cried. Each memory that he had looked at through a haze of frustration became clear, and all that was left was a deep, hollow sadness. He was so used to the feeling of rage giving him purpose, that once he could see what he was without it he became disillusioned. He was an empty shell of a man, with nothing but sorrow.

#

He didn't say anything when he saw Naruto again. He couldn't. He didn't know how Naruto would react. He should hate Sasuke, but he knew he wouldn't. He waited for Naruto to make the first move. Seconds turned into minutes. The sound of the brook and the crickets filled in the silence they were drowning in. Naruto looked at Sasuke expectantly. Finally He decided he had to say something. "I'm… confused." Naruto kept looking at him and nodded, egging him on. "I don't know how it could have turned out this way. I thought hatred was all I needed, but… now I'm lost. I'm so confused, I don't know what my heart is trying to tell me." Sasuke sat down at the riverbank, grass blades tickling his feet. Naruto slowly came and sat down next to him. After a long moment he sighed.

"Of course it turned out this way." Sasuke looked questioningly at Naruto. "Why you're alone and afraid. You've played the victim all your life. I tried to get strong to protect the ones I love. You tried to get strong to shield yourself from more pain. Pushing away the people that wanted to help was selfish. Instead of dealing with your feelings you shut everyone out. When I was ostracized I reached out to people and improved myself for the betterment of others. You wallowed in self-pity like a scared little kid. Grow up and get over it."

Sasuke was speechless. Grow up? Get over it? Who the hell did he think he was talking to?

"Bad things happen, but if you let it destroy your life, you become a slave to your grief. Cry and tell everyone how much it hurt, and then get out there and make it better. Turn those scowls into laughter. It's your hatred that makes you weak. You can only become truly strong in heart and mind when you allow yourself to heal." Sasuke pushed Naruto into the ground. "How _dare _you." His fists curled around Naruto's shirt, but he looked up at him with listless eyes. Sasuke's snarl slowly faded and he loosened his grip. He wasn't feeling it. He tried to be angry at the sonofabitch for what he said but he couldn't. It was true, after all. But how could he start over? Hatred was all he knew.

He felt Naruto's arms wrap around his shoulders as he sat up, squeezing him tightly. "There's so much to live for Sasuke. You still have so much to offer; it's just buried deep inside your heart." He gently pushed Sasuke to the ground and straddled him. Sasuke's eyes widened slightly at the blonde's forwardness. "It just needs to be uncovered. You need to learn how to feel again." Naruto pressed his lips to the black haired boys earnestly, causing Sasuke's breath to hitch at the unexpected advance. He slowly relaxed into the kiss. _Don't fight it, _he thought. It had been so long since they had kissed so softly and gently before. But something was different. Naruto slowly slid his hands up the others shirt grazing his digits along the ripples of silky musculature. Sasuke's breath quickened. "Oi, what are you doing?" Naruto didn't answer. He unzipped the others shirt and began kissing his neck, running his fingers up and down Sasuke's warm, smooth body. Each gentle kiss down his neck were like little promises, skipping around on his skin sending warmth through him. He froze as Naruto's tongue found his collarbone and he began lightly rubbing his nipples. "Hey, stop it" He grunted, cheeks flushed. _He couldn't really be thinking… _Naruto wasn't planning on doing THAT was he? There was just no way. Sasuke's hands pushed feebly against Naruto's chest but the blonde just responded by biting down on his neck. Sasuke groaned softly at the pain. Naruto started kissing down Sasuke's stomach and pulled down the rest of his garbs, revealing his half hard length. Naruto began skimming kisses dangerously close to the pleading arousal until Sasuke put a hand on his head, encouraging him to continue. A hand slowly wrapped around the erect length and Sasuke let out a hiss of appreciation at the contact. He tentatively kissed the head and began suckling, earning groans of satisfaction from the brunette. Sasuke was wrapped in pleasure. Naruto had never touched him like this before.

What he didn't expect was when he felt a finger slip into him. "Hey! What the hell are you doing? Get that out Dobe!" Naruto held him down firmly with one hand while using his other to feel out the orifice, his mouth continuing to pleasure Sasuke. Sasuke struggled helplessly against the pleasure as he felt another thick finger enter him. "I'm warning you," he huffed "stop this." Naruto retracted the fingers and griped Sasuke's throat. "Stay calm. I'm going to fuck you, Sasuke." Sasuke's eyes widened and he started thrashing about, trying to free himself from Naruto's hold. Naruto kept him in place and shoved his fingers down the Uchiha's mouth playing with his tongue causing him to gag. He marinated them waiting until they were slippery and moved them back to doing their job stretching Sasuke out. With the other hand he was firmly gripping Sasuke's weeping member and began to tug. With his face bent down locking Sasuke in a tight kiss, there was no room for escape. _This can't be happening… _

Naruto began sucking at his neck again; nibbling and licking his pulse point and rubbing his length agonizingly slow. Sasuke had worked up a sweat as he struggled in vain against Naruto's advances. All of a sudden, he moaned shamefully as those probing fingers brushed a spot of hidden ecstasy. His cock throbbed and his pulse quickened as Naruto massaged him from the inside. When the third finger entered him he felt a tear slide down his cheek. He was utterly humiliated. Naruto was treating him so frailly when he had treated him with such malevolence. And yet he was the one who was crying. Naruto was right, he really was weak.

He wasn't prepared for Naruto when he removed his clothes. He could've run, tried to get away, but he had given up all hope of anything else. What was there to live for if not Naruto? The blonde kissed his lips reassuringly. "This is for the both of us," he whispered as he placed himself at Sasuke's entrance. Sasuke felt a fear rise up in him unlike anything he had felt before. He had never experienced a kind of pain like he had as Naruto began to push his thick head into him. It was so… _personal. _He had gone through worse traumas certainly, but none that made him feel the way that Naruto was making him feel right now. He cried out and clutched Naruto's back with shaking hands as he calmly slid in further. The sound of Naruto's labored breath in his ear was strangely arousing as he thought the reason Naruto was feeling so much pleasure was because of _him. _By the time Naruto was fully sheathed in the heat, Sasuke was trembling and gasping for air. Naruto wrapped his arms around the shaking figure and pressed his full body firmly against his. "Do you feel this Sasuke? Do you feel me? We are connected. Two halves of a whole, the Yin and Yang joined by flesh." He placed a comforting kiss on Sasuke's cheek. "You have entered me and I have entered you." Sasuke spit out a choked laugh. "Do you really think fucking me is going to help anything? That it will make us closer and erase our problems?" Naruto smiled sadly as he nuzzled into Sasuke's neck, relishing in his scent. "I don't know. Maybe it will." Sasuke's chest puffed out as his frustration grew, his need throbbed and he ached from being filled.

"A long time ago, Sasuke, you said when two shinobi are of a high enough level, they can read each others thoughts through no more than a trade of blows. They don't need to say a word." He slowly pulled out and thrust in again. "Well, can you tell what I'm thinking too? Can you read my thought's Sasuke? Can you understand how I feel by my blows?" They panted in unison as he slammed back in again causing Sasuke to cry out and dig his nails deeper into the jinchuriki's back. "You took all your hate, and you threw it at me. I'm the only one can handle that hate, only I can fulfill that duty. And I bear the burden of your hate."

"Why?" Sasuke managed to whimper out. "What do you want from me? Why do you keep messing in my business?" Naruto smiled down at the flustered Uchiha, sweating and breaking down. "Because I love you." And with that Naruto ravaged the others mouth with a burning kiss and started rocking into him again, slowly rolling his hips in an attempt to draw a needy voice out of that shivering broken pile of a man. He kissed Sasuke again and again until his lips were raw and then he kissed him some more, sucking and nibbling at his lips. Sasuke's chest heaved in silent sobs as tears spilled over onto the blades of grass beneath the two swaying bodies. One of Naruto's broad tan hands found its way to Sasuke's arousal again and began pleasuring him in time to his thrusts. Sasuke could no longer hold back his cries as each time Naruto brought their hips up to meet he was kissed by overwhelming satiation. "Nh- hah… ah, N-naruto…" he sputtered incomprehensively as he was drawn into dizzying pleasure. Naruto's grunts became more audible as he was also drawn in by the promise of completion. Their bodies melded together in a drunk, rocking pile of pleasure and fulfillment. Neither of them had felt so alive.

Naruto bucked repeatedly into Sasuke's sweet spot and pumped his pleading length until with a cry, Sasuke saw white and came onto his stomach. Clenching inadvertently around him, Naruto suddenly felt his orgasm climbing up to him as well and with a last jerky thrust, spilled his worth into Sasuke. They were surrounded in a harsh blinding light together as they shook, bodies slick against each other.

Physically and emotionally drained they lay still; the only sound was their heavy panting and the water from the brook trickling past. Sasuke shifted and groaned, hands against Naruto's chest. "Ne usuratonkachi, take it out already." Naruto looked at him and smiled. "Not yet." He wrapped his arms around the raven and began to breathe his scent in once more. "Just for a little longer, let's stay connected." Sasuke grunted in protest but pulled the blonde closer to his chest non-the-less. "Will you stay with me, Sasuke? Until morning?" The black haired shinobi shook his head. "I can't stay. You know that." Naruto hugged him tighter. "Don't make me beg, it's not my style."

"Naruto?" The blonde got up and looked at Sasuke. "Yeah?" Sasuke looked as if he were about to say something, but bit his tongue and turned away. Naruto leaned down and kissed the dried tears from Sasuke's face. "I know. It's ok, Sasuke. I forgive you." Sasuke flinched and looked menacingly up at the blonde. "Hey, why are you saying you forgive me when you're the one who did this to me against my will here?"

"Hey, I was nice! Or did you forget how you treated me the first time we did it you bastard?" Sasuke 'tsked' in annoyance. "You were provoking me idiot."

"You were provoking me to!" Sasuke rolled his eyes. "How?" Naruto smiled and grabbed Sasuke by the chin. "With your body." Sasuke flushed and Naruto chuckled. After the shock subsided Sasuke started to laugh along with him. And they laughed together like they hadn't laughed in years. It felt so good to finally be free to be happy that Sasuke smiled and laughed harder than he ever had before. It was the feeling of finally letting go and being able to share the burden with his best friend.

**End Part One**


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